While most hostel guests go about their own business, I’m in the process of doing what I do best: creepily observing them go about their own business, with my trademark judgemental stare.

Map of European stereotypes, according to Americans.

Don’t worry, my research didn’t entail going through their dirty underwear or taking saliva samples from their empty -and multiple- bottles of beer and alcohol they consume. But I did gather enough data that fits well-known stereotypes. So here you go, live from a hostel in Riga, Latvia on a Saturday night:

The Spaniards - Stuck to the screen, watching a football match and screaming obscenities.

The French - Two groups. One of boys, browsing the internet for strip clubs in Riga. The other, mixed, having a 2-hour long four course meal in the hostel kitchen.

The Germans - Playing (loud) dance music from their room, consuming copious amounts of alcohol and getting louder by the minute. Their speech might be getting slurrier too, but one can never tell with the German language. As soon as the French log off from the computer, they will get on it to look for the same exact strip clubs the French were checking out.

The Brits - Drunk at the hostel bar.

The Italians - Calling their mothers. OK, I might be making this one up, I’m sure they’re just talking to their possessive Italian girlfriends that also cook and do their laundry for them, right before they go hit up the strip clubs (they love to follow the Germans).

The Americans - “Excited” about everything, and dying to get in touch with the local culture, which they do by purchasing overpriced local beer from the hostel bar. They will soon be drunk, and like totally love everything about Latvia and their amazing eye-opening cultural experience here.

What unites them? The hostel’s bar and club tour, which, for a small fee, guides them through all the tourist bars and discos of the city, which they could’ve gone to for free on their own anyway.

Have you noticed any live embodiment of  well-known stereotypes during your travels? Tell me in the comments!